Monday, June 11, 2012

Happy Birthday, Kirsten!

All right! To amp you up for Little Miss Playthings:

I'm going to (try really hard to) do a ~WEEK OF POSTS!~ here on Le Blog du Stalk. But today, we have some unfinished buisness! Namely, Kirsten's Birthday.

I always bake a cake for Kirsten every year, because I'm really 11 years old. (Oh, fie, you of all people understand.) But, you have to know: I hate cake. That is, unless I make it myself.

Bakery cake is gross. Cake out of a box is slightly less gross, but also still gross. Look into your heart, you know it to be true. Quit eating that stuff! Why eat bad cake when you could eat good cake? Let's make cake from scratch.

Kirsten's cake that comes with her little table and chairs is a yellow cake ... I guess? I don't honestly know enough history to know what it was. We can do better, though. Lemon cake is yellow, and also tastes good. (It's tres summer, too.)

I used this recipe. It's pretty easy, but then, cake isn't actually hard to make. I left out the syrup, though, because ... enh, you'll see in a second.

Kirsten's real cake has little fake fresh strawberries. In real life, though, they bounce right off. We can do better.

Take a pint of strawberries, wash them, quarter them, throw them in a pot. Cover them about 3/4 of the way with water. Put a ... teaspoonesque of sugar in the pot, more or less depending on how sweet the berries you got were. Simmer for around 20 minutes. Oh, look, strawberry syrup! And it's not that weird gelatinous red goo the grocery store sells! Seriously, that stuff is just chemicals. Don't eat that.

To know me is to know that I hate frosting. All of it. Bakery frosting is gross, frosting out of a can is gross. I scrape it off. I make my own frosting that I kind of like, but today, let's just top with syrup.

Like so.


Happy birthday, buddy.


  1. I adore the Pioneer Woman's Strawberry shortcake cake. You could make it without frosting...I GUESS... (but, it's sooooo good with that cream cheese frosting!).


  2. You make me want to bake a cake with strawberry topping. A lemon cake sounds nice, although I'd probably just do a regular yellow cake with lemon extract or something. Or I might just do a vanilla cake.

    The gelatinous goo version of strawberry syrup-are you referring to the canned stuff or frozen stuff (I like the frozen container-tasty on yogurt).